


Broken Trust

by sansatano



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-10-14 22:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20608601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansatano/pseuds/sansatano
Summary: Ahsoka Tano, having been wrongly accused of treason, has a choice to make. Will she stay at the Jedi Temple, complete her training, and become the Jedi she always thought she was meant to be? Or will she move on and try to find the answers she seeks alone?





	1. Chapter One

_ You have become a greater Jedi than you would have otherwise. _

Master Windu’s words lingered in Ahsoka’s mind as she stared at Anakin’s outstretched hand, the beads of her Padawan braid winking in the fading afternoon sunlight. Despite everything, she desperately wanted to take it, to feel its comforting coolness against her lekku. For so long now, she had worn it and felt proud of it. 

Now, though, there was a part of Ahsoka that wanted to close Anakin’s fingers over the braid and walk away from the Council room and the Jedi Temple entirely. However small that piece was amidst the vastness of her longing, Ahsoka found that she couldn’t ignore it.

And so, she decided to do something else that scared her.

“I accept your apologies, Masters. But, Master Windu, I can’t agree with you, Ahsoka said, forcing herself to look all of them in the eyes. Next to her, she felt Anakin tense, but he didn’t try to stop her.

“You said that this was my Great Trial, and that I’ll be a better Jedi because of it. Maybe you’re right,” she said and had to stop herself from clenching her hands into fists when she felt them begin to shake. 

“To me, though, this whole experience showed me that none of you trust me. That you don’t have faith in me.”

Master Plo looked ready to speak, and Ahsoka saw Obi-Wan place a hand on his arm to stop him.

“My earliest memories aren’t of Shili or my family there. I barely remember ever being there. All of those memories are of each of you and the other Jedi. You taught me about the Force, and what it means to be a Jedi. I looked up to all of you and wanted to grow up to be a Jedi you would be proud of.”

Ahsoka blinked away hot tears and tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

Throughout everything, the arrest, escape, trials, and Barriss’ betrayal, she hadn’t broken. She’d fought to prove herself, pushing on with single-mindedness. Now that the urgency and danger were over, all the feelings she had been burying were threatening to overwhelm her. 

“If you, the people I admire most, couldn’t trust me, then how am I supposed to trust myself?”

Ahsoka let them see the confusion and hurt that had driven her to speak so openly to them. She never would have before, but if she was on the verge of possibly leaving the Jedi forever, then what did it matter?

“How can I be a Jedi if you believe that I’m capable of murder, of treason? If you were so certain of my guilt that you were prepared to execute me?”

She squeezed her eyes shut and took a shuddering breath. 

“You’ve known me since I was three years old, and you believed that I was behind the bombing of the temple and that I killed those people.”

The silence in the wake of her speech was agonizing. Finally, Ahsoka opened her eyes and, if she didn’t know better, she would have said that Master Windu had blanched. 

“Ahsoka, you know that not everyone believed it. I never did, and neither did Obi-Wan or Rex. We know you best, and we knew you were innocent the whole time,” Anakin insisted, taking a step towards her, still holding out her braid, as if he couldn’t bear to close his hand and let her leave without it.

“Little ‘Soka, I never believed it of you either,” Master Plo added, and Ahsoka couldn’t stop from turning her head away from them all.

It was almost worse to hear that Plo hadn’t believed she was guilty but hadn’t tried to help her.

“Whether you can believe it or not, Padawan Tano, I can understand how you’re feeling,” Master Windu said, with more emotion than Ahsoka had ever heard from him. She jerked her head back to stare at him in surprise.

“I, and none of the other Jedi, wanted to believe that Count Dooku had fallen to the dark side. We didn’t want to believe that a Jedi could turn away from the light side,” Windu admitted. “But he did, and we were forced to take a step back and admit that any Jedi is capable of falling, even those we trust.”

His dark brown eyes were steady on hers, and Ahsoka could feel his sincerity through the Force.

“Were you certain, though?” Ahsoka asked him, asked all of them. “Were you certain that I was guilty?”

Master Windu hesitated.

“No, but all evidence did point towards you, Padawan Tano. And you know as well as any Jedi that we cannot let our emotions rule our decisions.”

“I do know that Master,” Ahsoka said, “but I also know that I wouldn’t give up on any of you, or the other Jedi, without hearing from your own mouth that you were guilty.”

“Perfect, a Jedi is not. Especially in times such as these.” Master Yoda used his cane to help close the distance between himself and Ahsoka, and placed his gnarled green hand upon her own, still shaking one.

“Regret that you were falsely accused, I do,” the Grandmaster said gently. “Go back, we cannot. Only forward. Stay with us, will you?” He asked, and Ahsoka’s eyes were drawn back towards her braid.

Anakin held it out closer to her, and the hope in his eyes almost broke her heart.

“I don’t know, Master. I want to, more than anything, but I don’t want to decide right now,” she said honestly, seeing Anakin’s jaw clench, probably with the effort it took not to start arguing with her in front of the Council.

Master Yoda patted her hand. “Clouded, your mind is. Meditate, you must. We will wait.”

Ahsoka looked at all of them one last time before she nodded. “Alright. I’ll stay for now, and see where the Force leads me.”

She turned on her heel and walked out, knowing Anakin, and probably Master Obi-Wan as well, would be following. 


	2. Chapter Two

Ahsoka managed to take ten steps out of the Council room before her master caught up with her.

  
“What are you thinking, Ahsoka? You can’t leave the Jedi!” He was close to shouting, and she was honestly surprised that he was able to restrain himself.

  
“I’m not leaving the Jedi, Master. At least not yet,” she said, careful to keep her own tone as even as possible. She didn’t want gossip about the both of them having a public shouting match making its way all the way down to the creche.

  
Anakin stepped in close to her, and she was forced to crane her neck to meet his blue eyes, which were mixed with worry and anger.

  
“I know what the Council did was unfair and wrong, Ahsoka. Believe me, I have plenty of reasons to distrust them. But it’s not something you can just walk away from,” he said, his voice insistent.

  
“Anakin, I understand and share your worry, but this is neither the time or place for this conversation,” Obi-Wan cut in, having followed the both of them out. Ahsoka wondered, absently, if the other Council members were waiting with their ears pressed against the door, listening for an opportune moment to leave.

  
Anakin’s face darkened even further at Obi-Wan’s words. Ahsoka had noticed in their time together that Anakin usually saw his Master’s advice, or general observations, as criticism, and it tended to send him spiraling into a bad mood.

  
“Then when am I supposed to talk to my Padawan about her ruining her life and abandoning everyone who needs her?”

  
“Anakin!” Obi-Wan snapped, and this time Anakin seemed to know he was wrong, but couldn’t admit it. He turned away from both of them and paused a moment, his shoulders tense, before stalking away down the hall and around the corner.

  
“He didn’t mean to hurt you, Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan told her, his blue eyes still looking in the direction Anakin had gone.

  
“I know,” she said._ But he did anyway_, she kept herself from adding. It was already painful enough that her faith in the Jedi had been shaken to the point that a part of her wanted to leave. Knowing that her Master would likely resent her if she left was salt in the wound.

  
“Would you like to meditate together? Or just talk about things?” He asked, and Ahsoka’s first instinct was to say no. She and Master Kenobi had always been friendly and polite to each other, and she cared about him, but their relationship was centered around their connection to Anakin. Neither of them really knew each other all that well.

  
Before this mess had begun, she had wanted to be closer to him. Now that she was on the verge of leaving, it could be one of her last chances to really talk with him.

  
“Okay, thanks. I would like that,” Ahsoka said, and Obi-Wan’s answering smile held a hint of surprise.

  
They found a secluded spot in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Ahsoka crossed her ankles and rested her cheek against her knees, her eyes focusing on Master Kenobi’s own crisscrossed legs a few inches away.

  
For a few minutes, the only sounds were the soft trickling of the fountains and their quiet breathing. The other Jedi she could sense in the room were silent and deep in meditation.

  
“You know, there was a time where I would have left the Jedi Order,” Obi-Wan said in a conversational tone as if it wasn’t as shocking as if he’d revealed that he and Yoda were involved in a secret love affair.

  
Ahsoka jerked her head up and gaped at Obi-Wan. “There’s no way! You’re practically the poster boy for the Jedi Order,” she exclaimed, and he shot her a rueful smile.

  
“If Master Qui-Gon still lived, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from laughing. He didn’t even want to train me at first, and I almost never became a Padawan. Up until I became Anakin’s teacher, I was never really the picture of a traditional Jedi.” There was a faraway look in his eyes and a slight smile on his lips as he stroked his russet beard.

  
Ahsoka shook her head slowly, unable to hold back her own smile. “I guess it runs in our line, then,” she said, and he nodded in agreement, letting out a short laugh.  
“So what happened to make you want to leave?”

  
“I fell in love,” Obi-Wan admitted. “Mind you, I’m hardly the first or last Jedi to become attached to someone. Most of us stay loyal to the Jedi and forgo it. I did, but if she had asked, I would have left and never looked back.” He spoke with such certainty that Ahsoka couldn’t doubt him for a second, no matter how out of character it seemed to her, who had only known him as an exemplar Jedi, and the galaxy-renowned Negotiator.

  
“Was it Duchess Satine?” She asked after a moment of thought, thinking back to the times she had met her, and what she knew of Master Kenobi’s past with her.

  
He met her eyes, clearly surprised that she would guess so easily, but then smiled. “I should have known that you would have figured it out. Anakin found me out very easily as well.”

  
“You have good taste. I like Duchess Satine,” Ahsoka said. “Would you still leave the Order if she asked?”

  
Obi-Wan tilted his head back against the tree, his eyes following the blue and red birds that flew between the trees. “I don’t think she would ask anymore. We’ve both grown older and more dedicated to our own causes. However, if this war finally ends, and I didn’t feel as needed, then yes, I think I might.” He paused, before turning to meet her eyes.

  
“Ahsoka, I wholeheartedly believe that you will be an amazing Jedi. You have shown heart, courage, and selflessness in your time as a Padawan, and you’re excelling to the point of almost being ready for Knighthood. You would be a credit to Order,” he said with a proud smile.

  
“But you don’t have to be. You are your own person, and any path you choose to follow in life is just that, your choice. I believe that in each one of them, you will always do your best to help others, and use the Force for good.”

  
Ahsoka blinked back sudden tears, nodding. “Thank you, Master.” She bit her lip. “You would take care of Anakin if I leave, won’t you? He would take it hard, and personally, even though it has nothing to do with him. He’s a great teacher.”

  
“Of course,” Obi-Wan said, reaching out to clasp her hand in his gloved one.

  
“And I think you should talk to Anakin about Padmé and your own relationship with Satine. You know about them, don’t you?”

  
Obi-Wan’s fingers tightened around her hand for a moment. “Yes, and I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you do, too.”

  
“Do you know that they’re married?” Ahsoka asked, sending Anakin and Padmé a mental apology at revealing their, admittedly, poorly kept secret. “Anakin doesn’t know that I’m aware of their marriage, and I think that he’s terrified about getting kicked out of the Order because of it. It would help him to know that he has your support and that he’s not alone in feeling attachment.”

  
Obi-Wan seemed to have become slightly paler. “I did not know they were married. They’re not as discreet as they think they are, and it seems that they’re not as careful as they should be, either.”

  
“Will you talk to him?” Ahsoka asked again, and this time Obi-Wan nodded.

  
“Anakin and I have trouble understanding each other at times. You’re right, Ahsoka. He does need to know that I’ll always support him. I’ve misstepped with him in the past, and I need to correct it.”

  
Ahsoka turned her hand over so that she could squeeze Master Kenobi’s hand in thanks.

  
“You should do it sooner rather than later,” she said, standing up and stretching her arms over her head, hearing and feeling the cracks of her joints. “And thank you for being so honest with me. It was helpful.”

  
“Are you any closer to reaching your decision?” Obi-Wan asked, getting to his own feet in one fluid motion.

  
“A bit. I’d still like to talk to some other people, like Rex and Anakin, before I’ll feel ready to either say goodbye or stay.”

  
Obi-Wan smiled down at her. “Whatever you choose, I have a feeling that you’ll be okay, Ahsoka.”


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it's taken me a month to update! Two people suddenly quit at work, and one of the new hires quit right after starting, so I've been working six days a week lately. This chapter was originally going to be a lot longer and include Ahsoka's point of view, but I really just wanted to get it posted. I hope to be faster getting Chapter Four out.

There were a lot of things that scared Anakin Skywalker. It wasn’t risking his life in this war, fighting the Sith, or making yet another crash landing. No, it was losing everything and anyone who mattered to him. He feared losing his wife, his Master, and his Padawan. He was terrified of not being able to call himself a Jedi. Every time he found himself before the Council, he could swear that they knew about his attachment and his fear and that he would be forced to leave the Order.

His Padawan had just faced one of his biggest fears. The Council had turned their backs on Ahsoka, and Anakin could understand her anger at them. He was furious with them as well. But leaving, when she didn’t have to? He couldn’t understand that. 

He almost didn’t want to. 

Anakin landed his Starfighter at Padmé’s apartment, quickly jumping out of the cockpit and heading inside. Artoo whirred behind him and seemed to be excited to have a chance to bother Threepio. 

“Master Skywalker! What a surprise! I wasn’t expecting you, not so soon after Padawan Tano’s Trial,” Threepio exclaimed, walking out to the balcony to meet them. “I am so glad that the truth was revealed. I knew that Padawan Tano was innocent all along.”

Anakin didn’t want to be rude to the droid, but he felt frayed at the edges. 

“Thanks, Threepio,” he managed to say, looking past the droid to the living room inside, trying to catch a glimpse of his wife. “Where’s Padmé?”

Threepio stopped in surprise, his arms freezing mid-swing. 

“Why, Master Skywalker, I thought you would know! Mistress Padmé is staying late at the Senate to discuss matters with Senators Organa and Mothma.”

Anakin had to bite back a curse. He had known that, of course. Padmé had told him when she agreed to defend Ahsoka at the trial since she didn’t want to fall behind in her regular work. 

“Sorry Threepio, I forgot. How about I leave Artoo here to keep you company? I’ll bring Padmé back later,” he said, already turning back to his starfighter. He patted Artoo on the top of his dome, and he beeped happily, already finding an insult for his friend.

“I say, that is most rude. How you are qualified to work for the Jedi, I will never understand.”

The sun had finished setting, and the lights from thousands of buildings and everyone traveling home or wherever they needed to be lit the night up in yellows, greens, reds, and purples. If Anakin lowered his shields, then he would see that the Force was also lit up with the millions of lifeforms in Coruscant. 

Sometimes he asked Padmé questions about what places, people, and situations felt like to her. He couldn’t imagine not feeling the Force all around and inside him. It lived and breathed, and gave him an understanding that felt infinitely deep. Losing it would limit Anakin more than the loss of his arm ever could.

The massive Senate building came into view, as lit up as all the other buildings. Padmé was far from being the only workaholic senator, especially now, with the war raging ever onwards.

The halls of the Senate teemed with politicians, aides, and guards, all still hard at work despite the late hour. Anakin strode easily through the swarm, the result of both his height and Jedi status.

He found his way to Padmé’s office in record time, having visited it almost as often as her apartment. The door was closed, but he could sense her in the Force, and Bail and Mon’s signatures were present as well. The Force also told him that all three were focused, despite feeling tired and wrung out from their long days.

Suddenly, Anakin felt ridiculous. 

Padmé was working now because she had been busy helping his Padawan earlier, and now he was about to pull her away from her work again just so that she could listen to him complain and make him feel better. 

He knew that she wouldn’t mind. He knew that she would probably have just the right thing to say and that he would end the night feeling better about Ahsoka’s situation and future decision. 

But it didn’t feel right to bother his wife with his anger and confusion right now. Still, he didn’t want to leave without seeing her. Part of him never wanted to leave her, even for a moment.

Anakin rapped on the door once before using the Force to open the door. The three Senators turned in their chairs to face him, but Anakin’s eyes went straight to his wife. He could feel her slight frustration at being interrupted, but her face melted into a smile anyways.

“Master Skywalker, how good to see you,” she said, careful to address him formally. She was still dressed in the same gray gown she had worn to represent Ahsoka, her rich brown hair pulled up into a tight bun on top of her head. Later, when all the pins were removed, Anakin would massage her temples and neck. All of Padmé’s elaborate hairstyles and ornaments gave her headaches, many of them splitting. 

“You as well, Senator Amidala. Senators,” Anakin added, nodding to Bail and Mon. They murmured pleasantries to him, still clearly focused on whatever bill they were all working on. 

“I just wanted to thank you again for defending my Padawan at her trial today. It means a lot to me, and Ahsoka is very grateful as well,” Anakin said, and Padmé eyed him closely, clearly knowing that he hadn’t come just to say that.

“There’s no need to thank me. Ahsoka is a credit to the Order, and it was the least I could do. She’s been welcomed back to the Jedi, I assume,” she said, and Anakin couldn’t quite hide his frown.

“Ahsoka was welcomed back,” Anakin confirmed hesitantly, and his wife, ever the politician, read between the lines. Padmé tilted her head at him, seeming to ask if he wanted her to make an excuse to leave.

He gave the barest shake of his head, wanting nothing more than to nod instead. Padmé gave him a look that told him she wanted to discuss this later before placing another polite smile on her red-painted lips.

“That is wonderful news. I’m glad that the truth was revealed. Thank you for taking the time to update me, Master Skywalker. Be careful going home,” she said, and Anakin didn’t miss that she chose to say home instead of the Jedi Temple. 

“It was no trouble at all Senator Amidala. Don’t work too late,” he playfully admonished the senators, Bail and Mon calling out friendly goodbyes.

Outside his wife’s office, Anakin contemplated his next step, as Padmé likely wouldn’t be done for hours. His hand unconsciously reached for his lightsaber hilt, and as he gripped the cool metal, an idea came to him.

Ahsoka had lost her shoto running from the clones, and her original lightsaber in her duel against Barriss. 

Maybe, if she had her lightsabers back, she would be reminded of what she stood to lose if she left the Jedi.


End file.
